A Look Back – Post Op Gastric Bypass

9/13/18 marked our fourth wedding anniversary. It has been an amazing four years and I am more in love with my husband today than I was on our wedding day. We are truly blessed and I thank God every day for that.  But in saying that, I was prompted to write this honest post so bare with me here.

Most of you that are on Facebook know the “on this day” feature where they show your pictures or posts that you have previously posted on the same day years prior. If you aren’t familiar with it or don’t do Facebook then I commend you. I keep saying I’m going to quit but it’s a drug I can’t seem to keep away from even though it doesn’t always bring positivity or productivity to my life, but I digress.

The other day I started receiving said updates in my feed of pictures of our wedding and honeymoon.  Please know that obviously our wedding day was a beautiful day that I will never forget, and our honeymoon was amazing for sure, but in looking back on these photos it makes me sad if I’m really being honest.

It makes me sad because I had lost about 30lbs pre-wedding to get ready for our big day and I still felt miserable and unattractive on one of the special and memorable days of my life…even after a 30lb weightloss.

I don’t say that for compliments, please understand, I’m just being honest right now. Those whom don’t have body weight or body image issues won’t understand what I’m trying to convey exactly.  I don’t want to strike a nerve with anyone or make it seem like I’m fishing for compliments and attention either. I’m just speaking from the heart aka #realtalk 😜

So with that, I’m going to be totally transparent. So here it goes…

I have to tell you that I dropped the 30lbs by taking medically prescribed speed (phentermine), taking bi-weekly vitamin B12 shots in my rear end, taking other medically prescribed supplements, working out at 5am before work, and eating a completely unhealthy diet.  To give you an idea of where I was, I was 285lbs about 6mos before the wedding (March of 2014) and after doing all of this in preparation for the big day I weighed 255lbs on the day of our wedding 9/13/14.

Side note: This was also not the first time I did something similar. In 2007-2009 I lost 60lbs in that time period by eating only one meal a day (on most days) and drinking Diet Coke and unsalted popcorn like it was my full time job.  Again, completely unhealthy and stupid.  But I didn’t care. I only cared about the numbers on that scale (yet I was still fat 😂 and was only able to get down to 238lbs with that moronic way of life/eating).

Both then and pre-wedding time period, I was happy to see the numbers on the scale move but at the same time I knew that what I was doing was not sustainable or good for me, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be the perfect woman or perfect bride and wife and wanted to feel good about myself on my special day and I didn’t care what it took to get there.

It was then post wedding that the weight piled back on just as quickly as it fell off as soon as I stopped the B12 shots and phentermine but it was also by this time that we were trying to have children.  I don’t remember how long it took me months wise post wedding but I got back up to my starting weight of 285lbs again and was devasted each month when my period would show up as obviously we were not pregnant.  It was around this time (early 2016) that I decided to go see a fertility doctor for a consultation as I was convinced something was wrong with me fertility wise and without even a blood test or taking my vitals or anything I remember sitting in the fertility doctors office and him telling me with his heavy accent that I was simply too fat to conceive.   He said “have gastric bypass surgery and then six months after surgery come back and see me”.

I left that day feeling so broken and alone.  I had never felt so humiliated and worthless in all my life after that appointment.  But a couple weeks later I scheduled an orientation session with Duke to get more information on weight loss surgery options and it was the best decision that I ever made for myself.

Thankfully my insurance covered it and before I knew it I was given a surgery date of 11/6/16 to have RNY gastric bypass.   I will spare you the nitty gritty details.  I can tell you though that it was hard as hell, it still is, but I have absolutely no regrets.   Anyone that says it’s the easy way out has literally no freaking clue what they are talking about.  I have quite a bit left on my journey to hit my ultimate goal but I have come a long way and was blessed with carrying a baby girl to term that is one of the best things to ever happen to me.  I don’t recommend getting pregnant nine months post op like I did but it happened and again I don’t regret it.  This amazing blessing (aka #babyhannah ) has ultimately caused a stall with my post-op weight loss journey and progress and I’m desperately trying to get back on track in the midst of sleepless nights and the stress yet amazingness of being a mom of #twoundertwo.

So as I quickly approach my two year surgiversary as we WLS patients call it, I am disappointed that I’m not as far on my weight loss journey as I would like however I am reminded of how far I have come at the same time.  This mess is hard as crap but I’m doing my best each day and I have no regrets.   I’m honest with the fact that I’m struggling to get in my protein and fluids, not rely on caffeine so much to function and to make time for myself and to exercise but I’m talking it one day at a time and am still dedicated and determined.

My stats are below for those interested.   Please send me motivational vibes, comments, thoughts to push me to get to the finish line (my goal weight).


Highest Weight: 285lbs

Day Of Surgery: 270lbs

Current Weight: 198lbs

Lowest Weight: 188lbs

Goal Weight: 145lbs ?


Until next time,

XOXO, Crazy Jess


Post Op WLS (RNY) Post-op Week 8 Update 

Welcome back to my blog, or if you are new here, welcome!  I hope you like what you read and will subscribe! 

Today’s post is a new topic that I haven’t blogged much about. I have made a couple YouTube videos about it on my vlog channel though (so follow me on YouTube as well if you are interested in random beauty/WLS/foster parenting topics and other such randomness)

Ok enough self promotion (that is so annoying and I apologize in advance)

If you don’t know already, I had WLS (weight loss surgery, for those new to the lingo) 11/7/16. Although there are four types of surgery options, I had RNY aka standard gastric bypass. 

For the last two months I have been trying to get used to my new normal. I have also been hesitant to post or vlog much about it. I think for me the hesitancy was due to me being in denial that this surgery was going to work for me. I kept thinking “ok great, I’ve had surgery but will I really loose any weight?” That is completely ridiculous to think that way but apparently it’s totally normal. 

So as it turns out, I will (and have) lost weight and I figured it could be helpful for others considering the option of WLS if I honestly chronicled my journey through my vlog and blog. I may not always be consistent but I will randomly be posting my progress, set backs, NSVs (non scale victories) and more. 

Don’t worry, my blog (and vlog if you follow me on YouTube) will still continue to be beauty/makeup and foster parenting related too and not all about weightloss and post-op life to keep things interesting.  That’s the beauty of following me, you never know what you might get as my topics are all over the place, but that’s me and this is my life. 

My hope is that someone out there finds me relatively entertaining and laughs at my sarcasm and decides to follow me on this journey we call life. That they can relate, get a laugh or two and be motivated to take charge of their life and health to be the best they can be as well is my ultimate goal. 

So as I stated my surgery date was 11/7/16, and I am two months out or 8 weeks basically.  Now that I’m adjusting to this new way of life, so many things in my life are different and those things are happening really quickly. 

I posted a vlog about it, as well as went over my WLS food product empties for the month of December. Check it out below. 

Regarding total weight loss see stats below:

Pre Surgery: 280 lbs

Day of Surgery: 270 lbs

1 Month Post Op: 251 lbs

2 Months Post Op: 241.6

Total lost since surgery: 28.6 lbs (38.4 overall) 

I’m very proud of the lbs lost but I struggle and work hard at this every day. Struggling with battling old behaviors, not always staying on plan and not always counting calories and measuring out my food just to name a few. I will always be honest about what I’m doing well and what I’m not doing so well at along the way to be as open and honest with you all as I can be. It’s so important to understand that WLS is not a magic wand that will take all your weight problems away.  It is simply a tool to help you reach your weightloss goals that requires a lot of hard work, dedication, and self control. 

So that’s my progress update for now. Don’t forget to comment, like and subscribe for all my future updates and randonmness!

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Until next time,


Crazy Jess 😘