Dear Baby Hannah,

I’m sitting in your room right now in the recliner with my feet up looking at all the odd and ends left to do to prepare for your arrival and also marveling at how swollen my feet look.  It’s thundering and raining pretty heavy outside tonight and I can smell the delicious dinner your Daddy is cooking for us as I sit here.  It should be ready soon and that’s good because I’m about due for another snack.

I should be doing a million things other than sitting here but I just wanted to relax for a few minutes and soak in this peaceful time.  Your big brother whom we call Baby K or Bubba is sleeping in the room next to yours as I type this.  I want to snuggle him but that will just wake him up and if there is one thing you need to know about your brother it’s that he likes his sleep and does not like to be woken up. He gets a little cranky and he is totally not a morning person either as a side note (just like me actually).  You should be prepared for this.  

You are on my mind like every minute of every day because you are literally kicking and moving all the time of course but also because your Daddy and I prayed for you for so so long and now here we are and you are just a few short weeks of making your arrival (exactly fours weeks to the day from my official due date of 6/16/18).  I’m still in shock and denial sometimes but this ever growing belly and your kicks and movements make your presence very well known and real.  

As im sitting here I am thinking of all the things I want to tell you and how much I can’t wait to hold you.  So with that said, here are a few things you should know before you get here…

I don’t know what I’m doing with this Mom stuff, I’m just winging it every.single.day and hoping for the best but your big brother seems to think I’m pretty ok at it though.  

I want everything to be perfect for you but at the same time don’t want to spoil you to the point that you don’t appreciate things and life and the value of hard work.  I’m not afraid to tell you No when I have to.  

We don’t know where we stand on vaccinations, education plans, if the cry it out method is torture or if eating a truly grain free and organic diet is best and only way etc  So we will just be taking things day by day.  I hope you understand and will just go with the flow as we navigate these uncharted waters.  

The new born stage takes some trial and error and adjustments.  I mean what worked for your big brother may not work with you, so please be patient with us and know we are trying our best.  

I get overwhelmed easily when things don’t go as planned or I feel I’m failing.  I’m pretty hard on myself (like all the time).  I’m working on this.  Be gentle with me.  Know I’m just trying to be everything to everyone at all times, especially for you and Bubba and some times I reach a breaking point.  Your Daddy usually helps to reel me back in though.  

I’m not a morning person (I may have mentioned that earlier) and I need my coffee to function in the mornings.  Your Daddy on the other hand is more the morning person around here so if you plan to lean towards that tendency y’all will be two peas in a pod.  Sorry in advance for being grumpy. 

I’m opinionated and have a bit of a smart butt sense of humor. Some people love me for my no nonsense personality and others aren’t quite sure how to handle me.  So if the friends you make one day have parents that don’t like me, it’s ok I’m used to it and it’s their loss.  I will try to not embarrass you too much though. Note I said I would TRY.  

Your Daddy is amazing.  Like seriously you won the lottery of Dads with this one.  You will have him wrapped around your finger as soon as you arrive I’m pretty sure.  He is so patient, giving, nurturing, loving and hard working for us.  I’m already kind of jealous because I’m confident you are going to truly be a daddy’s girl. But your big brother is a total mama’s boy so it evens out.  

You are so loved already.  I can’t even begin to describe how much love we have for you already.  Not to mention how much love awaits you with this crazy and large family of ours.  I mean you have three grandmas for crying out loud how awesome is that?!? 

You can do anything you set your mind to and work hard to obtain.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.  You are going to be a strong, confident, and amazing female and I am eager with anticipation to see where this crazy life takes you.  

There is so much more but that’s enough for now.  

So for the next four weeks, focus on growing big and strong and get ready to greet us when you are fully grown.  But not too big though as we are trying to attempt an all natural unmedicated birth here… just sayin’ 

Love you to the moon and back times infinity,

~ Mommy 

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